One Fall at a Time

Many people who have near death experiences state that they can tell you exactly what flashed through their mind in that moment. Now, I’m not comparing a vertigo fall to near death, although people have had some serious injuries. However, there is a similar relation I’d like to bring to light.

People who have Meniere’s Disease and Vertigo tend to have some mishaps with balance while walking through their day. Often we tend to have a fall. Some leave us bruised and some a little embarrassed. But, many of our falls are more damaging to our thoughts than our bodies.

I fell yesterday while taking out my dog. He immediately came to my side and placed his paw on me. Duke, my rescue, is very special. He beat the demons in his past and became better for it. His paw resting on me says two things: it’s not over so don’t move and I’m here friend, no worries.

First, was the shock of the pain. Second, came the embarrassment, even though nobody seen it. Then, the panic came full force. I reached my cell in the messy, freshly cut, wet grass and called my teenage son. Of course, he was dead asleep. After fifteen calls, I gave up. There I was with nobody around, hurting, embarrassed, filled with the earth on me and then, the weight of the world just fell on my chest. How many of you have been there?

Every negative thought comes flowing through our heads. All our problems, misfortune, lack of abilities, and disgust with it all just comes creeping from the darkness. It’s like a vulture preying on us. See my article ‘The Vulture’ here on site. A tear rolled down my cheek and I grabbed my phone. You see, I’ve learned to give exactly five minutes to feel sorry for myself. Five! That’s it! It’s odd that once the crying starts, we tend to hold on to one depressing thought. And it’s a bit more odd that every time this happens, it’s a different image. My thought this time, as I thanked Duke for not leaving me, was losing so called friends. I say ‘so called’ because if they were true friends, they’d still be around. Through 17 years of my illness, I can’t believe how many friendships went out the door and the pain it left. Knowing people I truly loved and trusted thought and said such cruel things about me just hurts. You know what I’m talking about. We are fakers, lazy, losers, and the list could go on and on.

Five minutes are up! Ding ding! Dry the tears because it’s time to change your thinking! That’s what I did yesterday and always. I looked at Duke and again, thanked him for his loyalty. I grabbed his collar and got up. I reached the chair about 10 feet away and sat. I exhauled and brushed off the grass and dirt. I dismissed those people from my thoughts just as I dismissed them from my life. In all honesty, if you’re not bringing anything positive to my table of life; what you think of me is no longer my business. (You should read that sentence again).

I began to think of all the support and love I do have. I thought of my faithful friends over these years and all the new friendships I have made. I smiled as I thought of each and every person who has blessed my life in a positive way. I’m not just talking vertigo here now. I’m talking about life in general as well. Life is like a boxing match and I’ve said it many times. It will knock you to your knees and beat the hell out of you if you don’t get up! Always look to the ring side. It is there that you will see your true friends. Since running my facebook support group, Meniere’s and Vertigo Without Borders, I have made so many bonds with people who understand what struggles my life entails. You need to change your thinking starting today if you haven’t already. Surround yourself with positive people who want you to succeed. It is then that you’ll start finding true friends….one fall at a time.

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