It’s rare I see people actually fall into what we were informed are the three stages of Meniere’s Disease. I consider myself in stage four. Stage four, for me, is actually stage five of the mourning process: Acceptance. BE CAREFUL how you interpret that. Acceptance is like forgiveness. We don’t want to but, it’s necessary to move on in our journey.
Last year, I wrote a poem remembering my mother and our struggles that actually binded us closer in our relationship. I miss her terribly but, I have accepted the fact that she was taken from me. In my opinion, the process of mourning her loss, is the very same process I went through with Menieres. DENIAL of the diagnosis, ANGER that my life would never be the same, BARGAINING with God and life in an attempt to change it, DEPRESSION that Menieres was now a part of me and ACCEPTANCE that it does not define me.
I tell my members in my Facebook group, Meniere’s Without Borders; an important view I see. Meniere’s Disease was not your choice; how you handle it-is! Put trust in the process.
THE DEMON OF TIME:
The greatest high I ever had was the lowest ground my soul ever crawled.
For I climbed to the bottom in the darkness of pain, searching for the light of what I never lost.
I’ve shivered in the warmth of the forgotten memory of what never was.
For I’m screaming in the dead silence in a crowded space of countless time.
I can touch the numbness of a beating heart that stopped long before it mended the pieces.
Blinded eyes stair at the unforseen sight of binding ties to finally set me free.
For the biggest demons I ever fought were the ones that made me comfortable with who I never was.
(Written in memory of Edna Kalitz and Dedicated to MD sufferers everywhere.)
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Perfectly Broken 